Susan – Page 7 – A Blue Squash

Gone With The Wind

For sale on Craigslist is my Gone With The Wind doll trunk and ten ensembles that fit the Scarlett O’Hara 15.5” doll. Franklin Mint no longer produces them. It’s time to let them go to another GWTW fan who appreciates the fashion doll creations that replicate the beauty of the originals. Does anyone else remember the first time you saw Gone With The Wind?

Oh, those dresses! Right?

It was the late 1960’s on a Saturday night that I first saw GWTW on the big screen – theatre – big screen televisions were in a very distant future, far, far away. Being just a wee babe, okay, okay, a wee pre-teen, I was captivated by the characters, the gorgeous gowns and … swoon … when Rhett carried Scarlett up those stairs.

The following week I checked out the book from the library. Immersed in the Deep South, the War of Northern Aggression, and Scarlett’s manipulations, I spent days on end imagining me in those humongous hoop skirts. Yards and yards of imaginary fabric swayed and swirled, whispering against the floor.

Swish, swish, swish.

Anyhooo, back to the point of this blog, when lifting the heavy trunk and removing the contents to photograph the empty space, it triggered a comparison. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could clear my mind like that too? Take out and remove the old heavy hurts and concepts. Start all over. Begin fresh and form new thinking patterns and beliefs.

Is it possible? YES! Like inspecting the gowns for flaws after removing them from the trunk, it takes time and patience to discover buried beliefs and examine them for defects. Here are five guides I’ve used to decide what hangs in the closet, goes into the drawers and on top of the shelves of my mind.

PRAY. Ask the CEO of the Universe for guidance. He knows everything about each one of us. Read Psalm 139. He can shine a light on the attitude, view, or emotion that we need to work on first.
YOU ARE WORTHY. A formidable soul-sucking barrier; feeling unworthy will stop you in your tracks when choosing new thoughts. Repeat #1 above and ask what is blocking you from feeling worthy and how you can change.
BE OPEN AND RECEPTIVE TO CHANGING YOURSELF. You and only you are in control of your thoughts, actions and emotions. No one can make you do or feel anything. Even the CEO of the Universe, the most powerful being in existence gives you free will. It is up to you how to use it.
MAKE LIFE-ENHANCING CHOICES. This can be a tough one when you aren’t familiar with stopping anger, hurt, shame and negative thoughts. Practice, practice, practice. Ask yourself if what you are thinking improves, boosts, develops or enriches your life. Repeat #1 above for guidance on how to change your thoughts. Louise Hay’s “The Power is Within You” and Dr. Wayne W. Dyers’ book “Your Erroneous Zones” (click on title for YouTube audio version) helped me immensely.
MIRROR WORK. Oh boy, this one is an eye-opener. If you’re like me, it will have you in tears – the breakthrough kind! “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay includes directions on how to use this powerful tool.

Through prayer, meditation, grounding and aligning my chakras (more on that in another blog) I’ve cleared several pieces of muck out of my mind. Some I wasn’t even aware I was thinking or believing! It was by NO means easy. There were times when I just wanted to stop working so hard to improve and quite frankly didn’t give a damn. Yet once started, I could not go back and I am so much happier now that those wasted viewpoints and attitudes are gone with the wind.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Here’s wishing you and yours an absolutely lovely, splendiforious 365 days.

This is the time when most of us make resolutions we rarely keep. How many of us really even take the time to write down our thoughts and goals? Maybe for our business or career, however I’m thinking it’s a long shot any of us will take a personal written inventory and still be looking at it come summer. At that point, I would probably be using it as a coaster for my strawberry daiquiri.

Therefore, this year I’m trying something different. Making it simple by using images and objects instead of words or goals. Next to my bathroom mirror where I can see it every morning after waking up and every night before going to bed is a framed picture of a compass. It makes me think of directions and adventure.

Having discovered that my mind is my own worst enemy, I’ve set my sights on getting out of my own way. No one on this planet can trip me up more than me. Heading true north says it’s time to give myself permission to lighten up, forgive everyone including myself, enjoy life and be open to miracles. Every day.

Taking it one day, one hour, or one moment at a time with God as my guide and His written word as the compass in hand. Daring myself to continue exploring why I think what I think, why I believe what I believe and how to love the best I can. Will you join me?

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. (Psalm 119:105 KJV)

Working for the CEO of the Universe Every Day™

My relationship with God has been one of those on-again, off-again kind of things. Completely attracted to Him, yet after living with the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ idea of the Big Guy I didn’t trust Him. At all.

Thinking He was mad at me, disappointed in me and fed up with me because I couldn’t be perfect no matter how hard I tried, I gave up pursuing Him. I packed up my spiritual bags, slammed the door on religion and took a bus straight to Hell on Earth. Give me a few more blogs and I might loosen up enough to tell the whole story and not leave out any of those dark corners where the skeletons play and the cockroaches roam.

I danced in the devil’s roadhouse and employed the wrong attitude and views for far too long. After years of flinging myself at a brick wall of emotionally unavailable, troubled, distant and moody men, I finally asked myself “What the heck are you doing?” Lost and sick at heart I was worn out from trying to find happiness through other people. Ashamed of my arrogance, my ridiculous need to compete with other woman and a stubborn hardheaded need to be right, I wanted to quit existing. I was miserable. Peace and joy were words used only during the Christmas season and did not register as real emotions in my heart.

Many posts on this website will share the story of how I transformed my life. How I returned to God bedraggled, worn out and “homeless.” My entrepreneur’s soul was tired of working for me and failing. The years spent far away from Him were filled with classes and studying hundreds of books on corporations and organizations. When it came time to knock on the CEO of the Universe’s door, I spoke to Him in the language of business. I begged Him to take me under His wing, be my mentor, and teach me how to live well every day. Whew! What a long divine process it continues to be – I’ll be revealing what transpired and would love it if you come back to read more about Working for the CEO of the Universe Every Day™.

Sparks Middle School Shooting

Our community lost a dedicated teacher, friend and selfless veteran. We are left with two students wounded and a child gone for reasons not yet uncovered. In the past, before beginning my journey of transformation, I would have focused on anger and blame.

I would have focused heated thoughts on where he got the gun, his parents, and why God did not prevent the unspeakable. Through gritted teeth, I would have questioned how the students treated him and if school personnel were aware.

With sadness and grief I said a prayer for the victims and their families, asking how not to put my attention on anger and blame. The voice inside my head whispered the questions, “What pain was the child so focused on that he chose to bring a weapon to school to take another life as well as his own? Are we going to outlaw guns, kitchen knives, fire, video games, and the Internet where anyone can learn to build a bomb?” In ancient days, without modern weapons, Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. (Gen. 4:8 KJV) Pain will find a way.

My website is dedicated to the business of transforming life to find peace and joy; how could that philosophy serve in this horrible situation without sounding trite? Putting my emotions in God’s hands, the Mohandas Gandhi quote came to mind, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” Social and personal transformations go hand in hand. I cannot control other people or situations. I can only control my own reactions and myself.

My prayer redirected to one requesting assistance, to be aware of my thoughts, actions and words this day and every day. Help me to focus on kindness. Help me in any situation to release the need to be angry, mean, cutting, competitive or critical. Let me not be the one that pricks a fellow human with the words or actions that send them over the edge.

A Blue Squash in a Pumpkin-Colored World

It was a gorgeous sunny autumn day; one of those days you carry in your soul to shine a light of hope during a dreary winter. My hubby and I were in “Apple Hill” California celebrating our season’s favorite ritual – a weekend trip to pick up cider, pumpkins, apples, pies and gifts.

Almost every ranch grew pumpkins. Beautiful plump, orange pumpkins in all shapes and sizes. At one particular grower’s exhibits in the midst of all the oranges and yellows was a single box of blue squash. Everyone passed by them with hardly a glance. A couple of kids wrinkled their noses and squeaked, “Ewww.” As I was taking the photo above, I thought they seemed so out of place and lonely. Just like me.

As a child of devout Jehovah’s Witnesses, I grew up feeling like a blue squash in a pumpkin-colored world. I was different. Out of place. Lonely. A misfit that didn’t fit in with my family, my religion or the civilization outside the Witnesses’ organization. Conflicted over my parents beliefs, I constantly asked if perhaps I was adopted and they just didn’t want to tell me. My mother gave me my birth certificate on my fourteenth birthday to prove I belonged to them. Ashamed to say I was disappointed.

Being the blue squash that I was, things that came easily to other people was challenging for me to grasp. Life is a process – ummm, huh uh, don’t get it. Progress not perfection – no way, perfection is the goal! You have choices – seriously, you must be kidding. God is love and He loves you no matter what – not in this lifetime or any other.

I desperately needed a transformation. In the very core of my being was a steel coil of frozen fear and doubt preventing me from finding true peace. Joy was somebody’s name, not a feeling I could embrace. Craving love and hope, I could not explain what they meant. I can now. The overhaul of my soul was a long haul and it isn’t over. Lots of posts on this website is about the renovation of a life. I hope you come back soon and enjoy the journey.